Vanity wins

We all know that it's frustrating to think of the perfect thing to say after it's too late to say it. I also think it's frustrating to think of something pretty witty and say it to a small audience in a situation that isn't relatable to the typical person (and therefore not suitable for a stand-up comedy act).

Thus, I hereby expose my entire readership to these under-exposed witticisms that I came up with. These conversations actually happened (though they may be paraphrased) and my responses I actually said:

Scene: Physics professor has taken a box labeled "Lab Snacks" (one of our suppliers occasionally throws in a snack with our equipment orders) and put a few electronic parts in it. ROHS compliant (ROHS=Restriction of Hazardous Substances) is a designation given to electronics parts if they contain sufficiently low levels of lead and other dangerous substances.

Professor: Here are some snacks.
Archiblog: Oh good, I'm hungry.
Professor: Actually, it's just that power supply I have to mount!
Archiblog: That doesn't look appetizing at all. . .unless those components are ROHS compliant.
All (except guy who didn't know what ROHS was): ha ha ha.

Scene: Friends are discussing ways to complete a CS minor.

Gabep: So, should I take a class that's really easy and teaches you how to surf the web and stuff or a class that actually makes you work?
Archiblog: Well, considering that in my daily life I surf the web a lot more than I work. . .
All: ha ha ha.