Here's a game you can't win:

It's the game of not thinking about something. The other day I saw an ad for a certain beer. It was one of those viral deals where they had pretended to be apologizing for another ad. Intrigued, I googled their supposedly offensive ad and found myself in their trap! I was enraged! Because of their stupid stunt they had tricked me into thinking about their brand for several minutes! I found the ad on YouTube; I learned about their closed brewery in Latrobe, Pennsylvania; I read about their superior taste. I don't even drink beer.

The worst part of it all is that even when I was mad, I thought about how mad I was at their stupid brand. Unfortunately, because time in a person's head is like press (it's all good), there was no way to win. It's like a Chinese finger trap: the more you want to escape, the tighter it holds on to you. There is no way to get the time back. They beat me and, with every word I type, they win a little bit more. Curse you, beer company whose name I will not mention! May your marketing team launch a terrible ad campaign next time!